Driving Results With Others: Hold Tension Between Feelings & Feel

 
Photo by Scott Osborn

Photo by Scott Osborn

 
 

 

QUESTION

I got a major win and feel great! or, Things couldn’t be worse.

ANSWER

There are times when the wind is at our back. Our manager is pleased, our teams are humming, the market is relatively quiet. We are optimistic; we take a vacation.

There are times when the headwinds are so strong, if we let go of the rope, we’ll fall off the boat. Our manager has a communication style that challenges us, and it feels like we can’t do anything right. Our team feels fragmented, and the market questions our ethics or performance. There is no way we are taking a vacation.

 

 

Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.
—Pablo Picasso, Spanish painter, sculptor, ceramicist, poet and playwright

 

 

Motivation is not a constant thing that is always there for us. It ebbs and flows, like the tide. It never leaves permanently. It will always come back.

The slump in between enjoying the headwind of progress and suffering the tailwind struggle can last minutes, hours, or years. We can’t maintain life wholly in one end of that spectrum.

Emotional equilibrium is our goal. Here, we have both headwinds and tailwinds in sight and can better manage our movement toward one and away from the other as needed. Why would we ever move toward tailwind? How else would we grow and develop?

Managing our feelings helps us maintain an emotional equilibrium giving us greater connection to the feel of our work. Emotions that come up as we deal with the struggle of regaining our competency again— frustration, anxiety, sadness, anger, boredom—can be painful, and they create static as we connect to our work. To maintain a more neutral state we need to focus on the small wins, learn to ask for help, and develop a practice until your motivation returns again.

 

 
 

MORE THOUGHTS…

Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions. ― Elizabeth Gilbert, American author

 

One ought to hold on to one’s heart; for if one lets it go, one soon loses control of the head too. — Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher

 

In order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer need to feel it. ― Mitch Albom, American author, journalist, dramatist, and musician

 

If you do not have control over your mouth, you will not have control over your future. ― Germany Kent, American print and broadcast journalist

 
 

 

REMEMBER

Motivation is not a constant thing that is always there for us. As it comes and goes, managing the in between time feels insurmountable because we think the goal is to maintain a constant state of high motivation. In fact, the goal is to maintain the in-between space more effectively. Managing our feelings helps us maintain an emotional equilibrium giving us a greater connection to the feel of our work.

PRACTICE

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CONNECT

Talk to a friend or trusted colleague about the times when you’ve felt headwind and tailwind in your career. How did you slide between the two states?

REFLECT

If you keep a journal for your own development, write down a time when feelings kept you from connecting to the feel of your work. (e.g., anxiety managing others for the first time; frustration when not achieving a professional goal, etc.). What makes you most effective as you head toward progress? What tactics helped you most as you worked out of tailwind?

NEXT


To perform well while under pressure, we need to train our minds to work more effectively. Making the right decisions, whether that is hashing out how artificial intelligence will evolve or ensuring naval ships are ready on time takes practice.

Driving Results With Others: A pocket guide for learning on the job enables you with all the tools and tactics you need to make your interactions less stressful and more effective.