Determining what's next: Finding the beauty in reluctance

 
Photo Credit: @sharifmatar

Photo Credit: @sharifmatar

 

Transformation and learning occur when our need to move forward overcomes our reluctance. These moments bring us from one state to another rather. In birth and death we have little choice or control over our circumstances and the change is abrupt. Then, there are those transitions and challenges where we have a great deal of choice and control. It might not seem like it at the time. Becoming a first-time manager, starting a pilgrimage, embarking on a new career, working our way through the ranks—these are all examples of change we invite into our lives, where we can manage our reactivity. Yet, when navigating our lives with uncertainty, our next step feels unbelievably foreign.

What are the ways we don’t want to do what we need to do? We know, deep down, where we are not very impressive to others. We know where we are the subject of some condescension, or where we wish for others to help us. No matter what great strengths we have, there is always a place where we need to extend out our hand. The help is there in the people around us. The help is waiting for us in our own future. They see what we need to do to take the next step. They know what we need to understand ourselves more. It’s a lot like a parent observing a child learning to find their own way.

When we enter a situation with a learning mind we increase the engagement and hope around us. That next step of understanding is invariably asking for help. Are we brave enough to ask? Will others help us? Are we showing up in a way that we can ask for what we need? Will our courage give them the courage to tell us what we need right now?

Since birth, our sense of purpose is consumed with being seen, heard, and understood. This energy propels us until we die. Slowing down to breathe in as if it were the first breath we ever took. This is awareness. Here, we acknowledge that we have always needed and been given so much invisible help. This is humility. This is how we were taking our first breath. This is how we are now. This is the raw vulnerability of the learning day in, and day out. This is how we want to be and be remembered for our practice, for our efforts. We want to be known for taking those first steps toward what we did not know. We want to be known for being tenacious for the knowledge of what was to come, that we reached beyond our current comfort zone.